I thought about this post because I saw online a thread of some kind with people, generally men from what I gathered, stating how they wanted to "stop being gay." All the posts talked about how being gay was causing them frustration or destroying their lives and how it only got worse as they tried to stave it off. The common factor? All of these posts seemed to be from people who were evangelical or born-again type Christians. In fact, many of them felt like being gay was ruining them and keeping them away from God/heaven.
It was so sad, and it reminded me of how much someone else's beliefs about us effects us, especially if we accept it as our own. I feel terrible that these guys are putting themselves through that, and that their loved ones are probably contributing. I don't mean to single out evangelical Christianity, it just happened that that is where these posts were coming from and, from my experience, that is where the primary homophobic force in America comes from.
I read somewhere earlier hear that it was bad if you pick and choose what you believe from something, that it was bad because it meant your beliefs or religion were arbitrary. The thing about that is, that's exactly what religion is: an arbitrary system we construct/use to better understand and relate to our common world. Everything about beliefs is picked and chosen; even believing nothing is a belief we choose. If we adopt the system of thought our families had we still do so of our own will, whether or not we are consciously cognizant of it, and it will always play out differently for each person. There are as many different religions in the world as there are people in it. Yes, you can be gay and religious (although if you are gay and hold anti-gay beliefs, then that obviously has a negative effect, see above).
Raijen wrote:Perhaps the more important question one should ask is whether the beliefs one holds are helpful or harmful. The beliefs we hold are reflective of the type of person we are. What type of people are we?
Lex wrote:If your religion or spirituality or philosophy (or anyway you want to call it) works well and brings good things to you, that's your path.
I like these statements, and I think it's easy to lose sight of that when we are healing from past abuses. It seems some of us, myself included, still harbor anger, hurt, or anxiety about 'organized religion,' and I know from experience it definitely slants our perspective. But we can't let our own anger, hurt or anxiety dictate how we interact with others or lump people into mental groups, lest we become the people who angered or hurt us to begin with.
In the end, like law, I think it's more important that we try to follow the spirit of religion rather than any particular letter of it, and I think the above sentiments are good ways of doing so.
by Notorious » Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:28 am 
