Queer

[milksmyhero]

For some reason, I feel more comfortable using the word "queer" compared to "gay" - I guess it's because the word "gay" became associated with so many negative things growing up. But "queer" (I guess because of the lack of usage by people around me) never really got the same stigma with me. I like "LGBT" the most but it might sound too political and doesn't roll off the tongue as easily. What do you guys think?

[iheartgaymes]

I've always preferred "gay" as opposed to "queer." For some reason, "queer" always sounded derogatory to me. I mean I guess there's the old negative connotation associated with it, but then the word was supposedly taken back by the gay community. It still seems derogatory to me, though. And, yeah, I definitely agree that "LGBT" is too politically correct. I've heard cases where the acronym has been expanded to include queer and intersex and who knows what else, but that verges on the flat out ridiculous.

[Notorious]

Neither word rolls off the tongue, but I'd rather be gay than queer. Queer means "odd."

[Zed]

Definitely prefer gay to queer, although since I'm bisexual I get to be 'bi', which sounds much sexier than either of those terms. Queer still seems offensive to me, and no matter how much it was 'reclaimed' I don't think I'd feel comfortable with it. I have to agree though that 'gay' carries a lot of connotations I'm not comfortable with either.

[milksmyhero]

But see that's the thing, "gay" only seems to encompass one type of group within the LGBT community - people who are exclusively attracted to people of the same gender ("lesbian" and "gay" seem to be used interchangeably for girls). That doesn't accurately describe people who are Transgendered or Bi. "Queer" seems to provide a way to encompass everyone (even people who question their sexuality) without having to go through the LGBT,GLBT,LGBTQI,etc terminology nightmare.

Being gay though, I feel more compelled to use the word "homo" to describe myself. Because it allows me to counter-actively use "hetero" when referring to people who are attracted to people of the opposite gender. "Straight" kinda gives the impression that heteros are somehow innately good and better.

I came across an article a month ago that mentioned how scientific communities are now actually starting to use the terms Androphilia and Gynephilia (emotional attraction to guys and girls respectively) because it allows for the description of a person's orientation without attaching it to the person's gender. Like, you can be a guy who's an Androphile (homo) or a Gynephile (hetero).

[Notorious]

But see that's the thing, "gay" only seems to encompass one type of group within the LGBT community - people who are exclusively attracted to people of the same gender ("lesbian" and "gay" seem to be used interchangeably for girls). That doesn't accurately describe people who are Transgendered or Bi. "Queer" seems to provide a way to encompass everyone (even people who question their sexuality) without having to go through the LGBT,GLBT,LGBTQI,etc terminology nightmare.

Being gay though, I feel more compelled to use the word "homo" to describe myself. Because it allows me to counter-actively use "hetero" when referring to people who are attracted to people of the opposite gender. "Straight" kinda gives the impression that heteros are somehow innately good and better.

I came across an article a month ago that mentioned how scientific communities are now actually starting to use the terms Androphilia and Gynephilia (emotional attraction to guys and girls respectively) because it allows for the description of a person's orientation without attaching it to the person's gender. Like, you can be a guy who's an Androphile (homo) or a Gynephile (hetero).

But by using queer, that puts a huge gap. We have "heterosexuals" and then everybody else.

[Zed]

Being gay though, I feel more compelled to use the word "homo" to describe myself.

See, to me both 'homo' and 'queer' were used in derogatory ways by my classmates growing up. Of course so was 'gay'...

Do we really need one term to refer to all gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders etc. etc. collectively? Should we be lumping transgender and intersex in with gays, lesbians and bisexuals? In some cases it seems like our only similarities are in our being different from the 'norm'. I think LGB works fine. Or GBL. BLT. Mmm...BLT...Anyways, my point is sexual orientation is different from alternate gender identities and should be recognized as such.

Although the Wikipedia entry on LGBT has “minority sexual and gender identities” (“MSGI”) as one of the variants which seems rather neutral and practical and allows for easy subcategorization (MSI and MGI). *shrug* If there is a need for it.

[milksmyhero]

Do we really need one term to refer to all gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders etc. etc. collectively? Should we be lumping transgender and intersex in with gays, lesbians and bisexuals? In some cases it seems like our only similarities are in our being different from the 'norm'. I think LGB works fine. Or GBL. BLT. Mmm...BLT...Anyways, my point is sexual orientation is different from alternate gender identities and should be recognized as such.

I dunno...just thought it would be interesting to get into the semantics of it all. Don't really know what to make of it at this point. "Gay" still feels too derogatory for me. And "queer" and "homo" aren't too flattering either. I feel most comfortable using LGBT (simply as the acronym). But I agree that sexual orientation should be considered different from gender identity. I don't understand transgenderism very much. I had a friend once who was transgendered who tried to explain to me what he (rather, what she) felt. He told me that he was attracted to girls but fantasized about being a girl in a relationship with a guy. Didn't really know what to make of that...

[Notorious]

I have quite a few transgendered friends. Allow me to shed some light on the situation.

"Jeffery" is born.

"Jeffery" never quite fits in, and he doesn't really know why.

"Jeffery" doesn't act like all the other boys, and has absolutely no desire to be associated with them.

"Jeffery" realizes that he feels more comfortable around women.

"Jeffery" realizes that he feels more comfortable when he mimics their behavior, in turn realizing that it feels far more natural than acting like a typical male would, and it doesn't even come as second nature-- it's just how it's supposed to be.

"Jeffery" comes to the severe conclusion that he is actually a woman, just inside of a male body.

--

From here, our hero has a few options. He can scrounge his money up and get surgery, taking a slew of hormones to balance it all out; he can stay biologically male and just live his life as a woman (which just has really bad repercussions legally); he can stay biologically and psychologically male, which is, by far, the worst scenario. Essentially, the penis is similar to that of a birth defect, and people who are transgendered just want to feel comfortable in their own skin.

One of my transgendered friends will most likely not get genital reassignment surgery, but he will most likely remove his breasts. He's been living as a man for a while now, and it just seems to fit. I cannot imagine him acting or looking like a typical woman his age, even though he biologically such. Many people who are transgendered just seem to fit their true genders when they start the transition. I remember when I first met him, I invited him to a pool party for a mutual friend. And isn't a very shy person, so he decided to unbind himself to go in the pool. And I just remember being like "WHOAH...Oh, that's right, you're still 'technically' a girl." And it looked odd because good GOD that guy is a masculine manly grrrr let's eat meat and smoke cigars type of guy-- he's a Russian mafia head in training, essentially.

[Nomenclature]

Both "gay" and "queer" are actually derogatory terms referring to sexual deviancy or promiscuity; "Gay" originally meant to be carefree, and prostitutes in the 19th century (and possibly earlier) were considered to be living a "gay lifestyle".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay

Both the words "gay" and "queer" were simply "re-claimed" by homosexuals later. Both words are still technically offensive, but we simply choose to no longer be offended by them.